2023 Goals and Aspirations
At the beginning of the new year, I stumbled across an Instagram post from activist, author, and podcast host Emily Ladau. I’d never heard of her before, but I absolutely loved what her post had to say. In it, she introduced her audience to her 2023 alternative to S.M.A.R.T. goals: F.U.N. goals! At first, I appreciated her quirky, self-aware approach to the new year, but the more I thought about it, the more the concept of F.U.N. goals struck me as deeply insightful.
I first came across the S.M.A.R.T. goals system when I was in business school for my graduate degree in 2015/2016. The S.M.A.R.T. system makes a lot of sense for business strategy—it helps you define goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timebound. The grip that S.M.A.R.T. goals had on us didn’t stop at the business level - this was the height of the girl boss era and S.M.A.R.T. goals were on every influencer’s lips and leveraged in every women’s media article. Yet, the longer I was familiar with the strategy, the less I felt that it made sense for me on a personal level. Especially since 2020, when each new year introduced a set of circumstances that turned the world — both in terms of my own personal world, and quite literally, the entire world — upside down, over and over and over again, New Year’s resolutions felt hollow. Situations like pandemics and traumatic pregnancy loss change your view of what goals are, in fact, achievable, realistic, and possible in a given time frame. Then Emily Ladua planted her framework for F.U.N. goals into my mind.
For Emily Ladua, F.U.N. stands for, to quote from her Instagram:
“Flexible: life happens, things change, goals shift.
Uplifting: bettering myself isn't a punishment. It's a process that should feel good, even when it's challenging.
Numberless: nothing will be radically different if I read 29 books this year instead of 30.”
Everything about this approach to New Year’s resolutions delighted me.
I have mixed feelings about New Year’s resolutions. As I said above, concrete goals aren’t always possible, when your entire plan for the year is thrown out the window. Moreover, the best experiences and parts of my life are anything I truly had control over. I’ve talked before about the importance of my summers in the 20-teens working with Beaver Cross Camps — I never attended the camp as a camper, and never planned to work there. Life just worked out that way. I certainly never set a goal for myself to live in London, yet that’s exactly where I found myself in 2017. Meeting my husband was never on my radar; I actually had a set S.M.A.R.T. goal-style plan to move to New York City when he stumbled into my life and changed it forever. And while we decided in the summer of 2021 that we were ready to start our family, due to a variety of unforeseen trials and events, our first child won’t make their appearance until the summer of 2023. In short, there are endless goals, but at a certain point, life moves with a force altogether its own.
That said, each year I’m tempted by goal setting, enticed by the feeling that comes from thinking them through and writing them down in an aesthetically pleasing way in a sparkling new notebook. I want to be that person that sets lofty goals to become the put-together, creative, elegant, aesthetic, insightful woman I should be in my head. Read 100 books! Visit at least 1 new country! Run a half marathon! Discover 12 new restaurants! You know the script. As a planner girlie who loves a new notebook and planner as much as the next millennial, I know the satisfaction that comes from crossing off a goal or to-do list item. And quite frankly, there’s comfort in setting those concrete plans and anticipating how it changes your life. Trust me, I get it. But I also find them a little hollow. Perhaps this is why F.U.N. goals strike me as having balance, speaking to those things I want to add to my life or develop further, and yet being honest about the unexpected nature of living every day. They’re aspirational, but feel real and concrete. Flexible, and yet provide a guide. Reflective of values and desires, while being open to how, even within a year, we can become entirely new people. The more I think about F.U.N. goals, the more I am able to consider my aspirations for the year ahead.
One of my aspirations for the new year is, as always, continuing to dive into my photography journey - and maybe, just maybe, this year will be the one when I finally commit to some new gear.
Admittedly, I have real goals for 2023 - largely practical, and a number already scratched off. They aren’t glamorous; make dentist and eye doctor appointments for Austin and myself, make the cats’ vet appointments. Then there are the ones we’re still working on, like paying off our debts from moving and all my hospital bills from 2022. These aren’t Instagram-worthy goals, there’s no Pinterest board dedicated to them. And as important as they are, I think I still need a few of those F.U.N. goals in my life too.
So, at the end of this ramble, what are my F.U.N. goals? What are those aspirations that I hold, knowing full well that this year will be a year of change, though this time I can anticipate it, and this time, it’s for a good reason. Travel and explore more — whether that’s here in New England, or further afield. Read more books. Finally spend a handful of days in Quebec City. Try new recipes. Fill our home with candles and coziness. Have monthly “book dates,” where Austin and I explore a new independent bookstore. Organize the nursery. Experiment with pregnancy fashion beyond just leggings and cute sweaters. Love my husband, and be loved in return. Develop my photography skills even more. Watch the sunrise and sunset, when I can. Host book swaps and dinner parties and floral arrangement teas with friends. Visit family. Put my feet in the ocean. Experiment with more embroidery and watercolor projects. Hike with a baby strapped to my chest. Dance in the snow. Make my husband laugh. Hold our child. Dream more.
I could make these a more concrete list, but for this year, this free-flowing schema feels right. There’s so much I can’t anticipate, I only know it will be a year full of newness. I want to move through this year filled with peace and faith, enjoying the moment I’m in while looking forward to the moments ahead. When I close my eyes, it is filled with love and beauty and warm matcha lattes and fresh flowers and sweet messages from friends and freshly painted nails and baby snuggles. It’s a year I can right now only imagine, but soon it will also be a memory, and another new year season will be upon us.
At the end of the day, whether you subscribe to New Year’s resolutions, S.M.A.R.T. goals, F.U.N. goals, a free-flowing list of hopes, or a post-it note with one major idea, these aspirations tell us who we are, who we want to be. They reveal our values, hopes, and dreams, and that is beautiful.
