8 Months of Thankfulness
Eight months ago today, my world changed entirely. Rather than get out of bed, put on my business casual blazer, grab my thermos of tea and drive 25 minutes to my office at St. Lawrence University, I woke up, put on leggings, and worked from home. There was something exciting about it - the chance to sleep in, the flexibility of working from my bedroom - but behind the novelty, the truth remained. The world was turning upside down. We were entering the Looking Glass. Back in March, waves of virus and fear flooded our cities and communities. Like many people, I feared losing everyone I loved — anyone I loved — to this strange new illness that we barely understood. Plans, personal and professional, were dramatically changed and canceled, none the least of which included our own original wedding plans. Behind the novelty, there was no getting around the fact that things were different. And who knew when they’d ever be the same again. If they’d ever be the same again.
One of the best choices I made when the pandemic hit was to finally start a gratitude journal. As the wave of the pandemic began to crash over my life, I knew that the months ahead would be challenging. While I couldn’t know how long it would last, I knew it wouldn’t be over in the two weeks or month so many people hoped for. I didn’t want the struggles of the pandemic to define the months it consumed; I wanted to remember all the good things that happened too. So I picked up one of the many notebooks I’ve collected and looked for reasons to fill, and for the last 245 evenings, before going to bed, I wrote a page full of things that made me smile or that I wanted to remember from that day. As day after day passed, I was surprised at how easy it was to fill up those pages. Now, eight months later, I’m on my second journal, still marking all those reasons to smile. There’s so much I want to remember from this time, and I thought I’d share a few.
A few images of things and moments that have brought me joy throughout the last eight months…
The top of this list has to be working from home, and not just because it keeps my exposure to the pandemic low. I actually love it. The flexibility it has, being able to take a 15 minute break to get the laundry folded or having time to fit a 5k into my morning routine and still make it to my Monday morning department meetings, really works for me. I’m also a “nester".” I love my space, and carefully design it to bring joy and beauty into my life. Naturally, starting off a bleary Monday morning as my desk in my home office, decorated with whimsical art and mementos from our wedding, has been a massive blessing. And while I miss my coworkers, I’ve still had some fantastic company. Before getting married, my cat was my officemate, snoring on my bed or chewing on my succulents, and my family around for a cup of tea and chat whenever I needed a break. And now I have my husband as an officemate! Who wouldn’t love that?
On a related note: lounge clothes! As much as I love a good blazer, I’ve really warmed to my new work from home wardrobe, especially as the winter months start to set in. Give me an oversized, cozy sweater and a pair of leggings and I’m ready for the day! Admittedly, it took sometime finding balance with my work from home wardrobe as early on in the pandemic I wore leggings altogether too often. Now though, while I lean towards warm tops and high waisted jeans for most days, I really love that if I’m feeling a little tired or out of sorts or just want to be cozy, I can be as cozy my heart desires!
Over the past months, I’ve enjoyed the time to focus on creative projects that I’ve been putting off. My brother, quite an accomplished photographer and videographer, has spent years trying to get me to pick up my camera, and I’ve always put it off, intimidated by the time commitment I knew good photography takes. Then the pandemic hit, and I finally dusted off my mirrorless Sony a6000, and gave it a go. Nathaniel was right — I really love it. I’ve also dived headfirst into watercolor and scrapbooking on the weekends and evenings that I now have free in the absence of working events. And, of course, I started this blog as a way to record this strange time. While I haven’t decided if I’ll keep the blog up once this pandemic finally passes, my other creative outlets are here to stay!
I’ve come to value long distance relationships in a new way. Throughout my life, I’ve made dear friends wherever I’ve lived, but since everyone has moved around a fair amount, I have close friends from London to Philadelphia. While I always valued those relationships, sometimes it’s been hard to prioritize them the same way as those friends who live nearby. When all relationships became virtual, near or far, the way everyone interacted with each other shifted. That meant, throughout the lockdown in the spring and summer, I was able to reconnect with my Bible study group from my time living in the UK, since their weekly meeting was virtual. Austin and I had an awesome double date with my grad school bestie and her husband, teaching them how to make naan over Facetime. Overall, I’ve just been made more aware of the need to invest time in relationships and I’ve come to be more intentional with staying connected to my friends, near and far. Even following the pandemic, I have learned strategies and routines for staying connected to those people who are close to my heart — even if they’re not close to my home.
My work shifted dramatically, since we can no longer host in-person events, but every day I come to value my job and my colleagues more and more. Our team has weathered the work from home life pretty well, largely due to my boss laying the groundwork long before the pandemic by encouraging teamwork and fun into our work day. When our work shifted online, that never changed. We continue to meet everyday on Zoom and Teams, exchanging ideas, updating each other, and most importantly sharing a laugh over a joke of the day and online trivia. The changing landscape of our work also provided opportunities for me to work even more closely with my friends at work, as various teams merged together.
Last, but never ever least, I’ve been thankful for Austin. I’m thankful for the love and the life that we share. Every day, I’m reminded how special this time we have to focus on each other and our relationship during these early months of marriage. Each morning Austin brings me tea and oatmeal to my desk, and on some mornings we have breakfast together and work while catching up on podcasts. I love that while I work in my office, if I just turn my head I can see him working at his desk. In the afternoons, we share a brief tea break and catch each other up on our work. Even outside of the 8 to 5 life, this strange time has allowed us to focus on our relationship in a very different way that we would have if life looked “normal.” And in a strange way, the I barely notice how much smaller the pandemic has made this world because we have each other.
I have so much to be thankful for, when I have you by my side.
While I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving (it always felt like that holiday in the way of Christmas and I’ve never been the biggest Turkey fan in the world, and there’s that whole gradual genocide of the indigenous populations of North America following the “first Thanksgiving”), this year it’s given me a lot to think about. Namely, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of being thankful in all times. Recognizing those good parts of life doesn't negate the existence of hardships. Rather, they shift how these times are defined. What will 2020 be about for me? Sure, it’ll be about the pandemic. That’s what it’ll be about for all of us. And I am not thankful for the pandemic — how could anyone be thankful for a disease that keeps families apart, that takes our breath and lives and mental health? I am thankful that amid all the stress and anxiety and fear, there are things that rise stronger than fear or sorrow: family, friendship, and love. And I will always be thankful that I have those in abundance.
