Beauty and Being Thankful
Another year draws to a close, and this week Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season. I’m forever “Team Christmas,” still not a fan of turkey, and have understandably uncomfortable feelings about the origins of this holiday. That said, I think the importance of gratitude is more important than ever. During the pandemic, I made a daily practice of recording those things that happened each day that made me smile. Slowly, then all at once, life seemed to return to a shade of its normal pace, and my daily ritual of gratitude fell by the wayside. It’s something I need to reintroduce to my life, and find time for, even amid this constant pace of life. Yet, even as the world continues to move at a breakneck speed, life still isn’t quite back to “normal.” It’s nothing like what life was a year ago, but still not back to “the before.” Instead, it’s something in-between.
I remember last Thanksgiving. It was one of the more challenging seasons in our lives, as the isolation of the pandemic began to settle in a cloud above our heads. The struggles of that time are not something that I will forget; at the same time, they don’t define that season for me. It was during that time that I found a part of my childhood soul, the part of me that saw fairies dancing in the dappled sunlight in the woods and believed that anything was possible. And I held fast to that part of me. You could call it looking at life through rose-colored lenses or romanticizing the world. Neither description is untrue, but it is a little more than that. It’s a practice for me, a ritual that allows me to see beyond the temporal hardships of my life and to recognize the beauty that exists in and through it. Moreover, it helps me be able to see and reflect on change, especially those changes that are for the better.
Last year, even as I struggled with the reality of the situation in which we found ourselves, I reflected on those things that brought beauty into my life. I needed gratitude. Today, I can see how far I’ve come, how much my life has changed; I recognize how much seeking that which was lovely gave me the strength to be in the moment and yet still look ahead. While it’s clear that I’m in a very different season, the practice of gratitude and seeking beauty isn’t something I want to give up. In fact, it seems almost more important to rely on now that the world has changed. So these are some of the things that delight my soul and remind me of all the good in the world.
Growth
In the quiet and the slow of the pandemic, I put time into developing everything from my crafting and photography skills to my relationships. The odd thing about intentionally practicing these things, whether personal or professional, is that sometimes it feels like things plateau, that no matter how much time or energy I put into it, it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. And then, all of a sudden, I’ve made leaps and bounds that I have no memory of making. I’m in my dream job, and I’m feeling like I know what I’m doing more and more every day. After slowly getting to know and building trust with Austin’s family, I quite suddenly one day realized that I thought of them as my family. And in my photography, I went from feeling uninspired and unable to use my technology to having a drive to capture beauty in my camera wherever I go.
Relationships
Speaking of building relationships, as I’m sure many of us can attest, relationships are something that were both strained and made in the midst of the pandemic. Before receiving our vaccines, we didn’t see anyone outside of our bubble (which included us, my brother, and my parents). I’ll forever be thankful to have had that time with them. Quite suddenly, those relationships in my life that I, as a gentle-hearted lover of people, had always valued, become absolutely priceless. I had to be just as intentional with the relationships outside of that bubble and I was with the time in our bubble, whether that was regular calls, texting check-ins, or even just regular Snapchats updating each other on our lives, our jobs, and our cats. Once we were vaccinated, and we could finally see people again, we found ourselves traveling to visit friends and family all summer and fall long. I collected so many priceless memories during this time; I watched Austin greet his family in person for the first time in close to a year and met one of my longest and best friend’s new baby. All these people and relationships, and the way that they’ve continued to grow and blossom even through the strain of the pandemic, are some of the biggest blessings and most beautiful parts of my life.
Our wedding party. Sadly due to sickness and international travel restriction, two of my bridesmaids, and my brother (a groomsman) couldn’t join us.
Love
No matter where I look, there’s so much love in my life. Over the last year, there are countless moments I can point to, from my best friend and her mom coming to visit in May to watching Austin read to our niece and nephew when we visited them earlier this month. Among all these memories, nothing exemplified the love in our life like finally celebrating our wedding with so many of our family and friends. Everywhere I looked during that weekend, I saw the crisscrossing lines of our lives and the people that love us more than I can say. My heart was beyond full. It was an experience second only to our actual wedding and one of the most beautiful scenes I’d ever seen.
In short, I’m not sure when the concept of seeing the beauty in life caught my imagination. You might think it was the pandemic, and forcing myself to find beautiful moments in a world filled with anxiety. Then again, you might assume it came from college and the research I did with my religion professor, a Pakistani Sufi Muslim and one of the genuinely wisest people I’ve ever met, on the concept of Beauty in Islam. In truth, it was probably long, long before that too. It’s something that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Seeing the world through rose-colored lenses is part of my personality, and part imbibed by the years of consuming fairytales and the truth in them that beauty is found in all things if you have the eyes to see it. This mindset doesn’t make light of the hardships in life. Nor does it mean that I can’t feel grief or pain or have a space to acknowledge those feelings. Instead, it helps me refocus my view of life, and especially through the fog of the pandemic, it illuminates just how much good has come into my life. Particularly at this time of year, it’s something that gives me pause and reminds me just much goodness God has blessed me with, even through the hardest of seasons.
