Dear Amelia
You make me fearless to be me; we are so much braver and stronger than we can imagine.
Five year old me
Change your life. Top 10 tips for becoming a morning person. Find your “main character” energy. These are all article headlines that I saw all over the internet around this past new year. They echoed articles that came out around the same time the year before, and the year before that. Our society shares a drive for self improvement, for change. And there’s a lot to be said in that. Being able to grow is a healthy part of human life. Maybe we' develop unhealthy habits or modes of thought that negatively impact others, or even ourselves. It takes self awareness and empathy change such destructive tendencies. But do we really want to change who we are, who we are created to be?
While helping my parents pack for their move, I stumbled across an old photo of me. I’ve seen childhood photos of myself, but this struck me differently. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because the other day friend of mine and I talked about how much we are still like our young selves and how at the core of our beings we are who we have always been. Maybe it’s something about the photo, the way I casually pose in my floral dress and ruby red slippers. Or maybe it’s because I found it days before my 28th birthday. Whatever the case, it made me pause. It made me think of who I was as a child, and of how much that girl continues to inspire me, especially as I turn 28. I thought about what I would say to my younger self, if I could, and how she continues to inspire me…
Little Amelia,
Everywhere you look, you see fairies dancing in the wind. Every face is a friend, treated with kindness and genuine interest, and you’d never ever consider that someone wouldn’t want to be friends with you. You are fearless and the world is yours for the discovering. Your imagination runs wild, flowing out of your mind into pages covered in drawings and stories and books keep you company. A lover of dresses, flowers, and princesses, your fashion sense is iconic and will continue to bring you joy as time goes on. So will art and music and books and the world around you. Some years will be hard and people will hurt you - because deep down you still believe that everyone you meet is and should be your friend. And, almost always, you’ll be right.Today you believe in fairytales and happily ever afters—someday you’ll learn that fairytales and true love are real and even better than you can ever imagine. The world will always be full of magic and wonder for you, even as the world changes and you grow, so full of love and delight. You’ll travel the world and read great books, make lifelong friends and fall in love. Some things will change, like the length of your hair and needing glasses and you’ll think a lot more about student loan payments than you’d like. But deep down, you’ll always be the same girl, who believes in wonder and friendship and walks through the world full of love and beauty, ready to share that with all you meet. You make me fearless to be me; we are so much braver and stronger than we can imagine. ✨
Love,
Older Amelia
Today, I turn 28. Looking back on my life, I don’t want to change who I am. I love who I am. I love this life that I live. As I enter this new year, I do have a couple of hopes. I want to improve my watercolor skills, run a half marathon, and actually stick to a skincare routine. I’d like to be more consistent with budgeting. I pray this is the year that we are able to start our family. Mostly, though, I want to continue to whole heartedly be myself: gentle and fearless, imaginative and intellectual, brave and strong and true. That little me has shown me that kindness is a strength and that dreams are always worthwhile. I’ve seen that fairytales are real and will always believe in goodness. While life as has changed so much since those early days and I have grown with the changes, who I am remains constant. Even as I write this, I sit in a floral dress, not so unlike that of the one in the photo, my heart dreaming of springtime flowers and happy endings, as it has for 28 years and always will.
