Song for My Mother

“You are brave. And strong. And true.”

My mother gave me these words. I can’t remember the first time she used them, but for more than a decade, they have been my mantra. They are the words that I whispered under my breath when I faced down a daunting project in college or before tackling an important interview in London. Even now, when faced with a challenge, these are the first words I use to ground myself. I always hear these words in my mother’s voice, and when I repeat them to myself, it’s almost like she is there, reminding me of who I am and giving me the strength to believe in myself.

I’ve gotten a lot of things from my mother. Since I was a teenager, people have told me that I look like her, particularly those who have known my mom for decades. I get my Norwegian middle name, and fair hair and wide eyes from her - as well as my love for baking. She has always had a keen insight into human character, and nurtured that same intuition in me. Whenever I was overwhelmed, or exhausted, or sad, she always knew just what to say. She taught me how to pick my battles wisely, to french braid my own hair, and not to take myself too seriously.

Mom gave me so much more than tendencies and traits. She inspired and encouraged nearly all of my life choices. Throughout my years in choir and voice lessons, she encouraged me to practice more when I needed to work on phrasing or diction or pitch. We drove through thunderstorms and heavy rain all over the northeast exploring different colleges, including visiting the remote Marlboro College (my eventual alma mater) in Vermont on 4 different occasions. As an adult, Mom helped me find my way to the best parts of my life. From my summers working at Beaver Cross Camps to my time in London, it was her encouragement that helped me get there. Arguably, Mom even set up Austin and I. Even though she’ll never admit it, we all know it’s true.

Even the stories of her life inspire me, filled with evidence of her strength, tenacity, and love for adventure. It sounds a bit like a two truths and lie game, except everything is true. Mom’s been saved by the US Coast Guard after being stranded on an Alaskan Island in a storm. She suddenly up and moved from a steady job in Juneau, Alaska to a one year gig in Manhattan, and managed to live there for the next 10 years. In her 30s, she started a sidegig making elaborate cakes with one of her best friends. As I stumble through these memories and stories of Mom, I still find the words to describe her come up woefully short. They just don’t do justice to this incredible, strong woman who has made me the woman that I am today. I need something more to express who she is to me.

As a preteen, I discovered Taylor Swift’s song “Best Day,” which she wrote for her own mother. It manages to say everything I struggle to convey. Mom and I have shared this song for years, seeing ourselves in the lyrics. It describes my own childhood eerily perfectly; its verses describing a small child filled with wonder, to the bullied teenager whose mom is always there for her. Even now, whenever I listen to it, tears come to my eyes, and I am overcome with how deeply Mom and I love each other.

So, Mom, I want to leave you with these words that are so perfect, I could never phrase them on my own. I want to thank you for everything you’ve given me over the years. Especially now, as I prepare to build my own life as a wife, and hopefully one day a mother, I want you to know how thankful I am for everything you’ve given me, and all that you’ve taught me, and how much I love you.

And now I know why all the trees change in the fall.

I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong.

And I love you for giving me your eyes,

For staying back and watching me shine.

And I didn’t know if you knew, so I’m taking this chance to say,

That I had the best day with you today.

Where else you can find me:

Song For My Mother